Tuesday, 13 March 2007

On Being A Godly Wife.....

I recently read a wonderful post on Camilla Andersson's Blog
It is a series of points gathered from the book-
Created to be his helpmeet by Debi Pearl

Here is the post....


Refuse to miss a day of Bible Reading
Do not read in front of your husband – keep it private so that you don’t appear more spiritual.
Pray before reading your Bible, “Open my eyes, Lord.”
Teach the Word to your children
Make a commitment to prayer.
Make a habit of prayer.
Acknowledge any sin God reveals to you and confess it to the Lord.
Pray for your husband.
Pray for your children.
Seek to know your God-given role as a wife and mother.
Find books, sermons on CD or DVD and study and meditate on God’s Word and the teachings that apply to the most important things in your life: being a wife and mother!
Keep a song of praise in your heart at all times.
Keep a prayer in your mind at all times.
“Lord, be with me at work at this moment and let me be a testimony.”
“Lord, give me the energy to joyfully do my job for just five more minutes.”
“Lord, thank you for the home you have provided me.”
“Lord, thank you for this hot running water.”
“Lord, thank you for a husband and children. Help me to be the wife and mother You want me to be.”
“Lord, bless my child and help her to grow to be a strong Christian.”
“Lord, bless my husband wherever he is at this moment.”
“Lord, I am so angry right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
“Lord, I am so hurt right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
Study and know your husband.
Be a servant to your husband.
Let me get that! (water, keys, coat, shoes, seconds at dinner, ketchup, dessert, the remote, a snack, a tool, etc.)
Keep his clothes clean and put away so that they are easy to find.
Keep his “area” neat (favorite chair, desk, his side of the bed, his toiletries)
Follow his leadership at the slightest opportunity (where to eat out, how to handle a home situation, whether or not to go somewhere, whether or not to buy something, what to watch on TV, how to fix something, etc.)
Readily accept his advice for any situation and acknowledge that it is good advice, and thank him for it.
Don’t be contentious or resistant to him in your spirit.
Don’t embarrass your husband (your speech, appearance, behavior, neglect of your family or home)
Prepare for his arrival each day (make sure his first perception of the house is that it is clean—even if it’s only the entry way and the area where he sits to relax, have a smile on your face, freshen your hair, clothes, or make-up, have the children clean and occupied, and have a smile on your face.)
Never belittle him or make cutting remarks of any kind, even in jest.
Speak a sincere word of praise or appreciation whenever possible:
“I don’t understand how you can fix a car like that. I’m completely clueless.”
“Thank you for fixing that. I’m so fortunate to have a husband who can do that.”
“Absolutely you made the right decision.”
“You are absolutely right.”
“You couldn’t have handled that (work situation, etc.) better.
“That was very smart.”
“That was totally the right thing to do.”
Meet his gaze showing your love and acceptance of him—do not avert your eyes to show your hurt or disapproval and to punish him.
Respond readily to his physical affection.
Do not be stiff when receiving a hug or a kiss.
Do not resist sexual advances: Pray instead. God will provide the grace.
Offer a warm hug, a warm smile, and an unexpected kiss of approval and appreciation.
Do not be financially independent. Let him control the finances.
Even if you have always controlled and balanced the checkbook, start checking with him on budget amounts and spending decisions. Immediately concede to his input of any kind.
Look for every opportunity to praise his wise financial decisions.
Do not spend his money foolishly—make sure he never has to worry about how his wife will spend his money.
Check with him on any purchase that is not a necessity.
Do not argue or resist his financial decisions, even if you know they are bad ones. Pray instead. (Your silence and support is actually more powerful of an influence—try it and you will see!)
Remember that whatever decision your husband makes, it is God’s will for you. Your resistance and interference will actually cause more problems.
Do not take matters into your own hands. Defer to your husband’s decisions whenever possible.
Do not be your husband’s conscience.
Do not nag. Ever. It is never a life or death matter.
Show loyalty to him at all times.
Never seek counsel outside of him without his approval.
Encourage and wholeheartedly support any idea or goal he shares with you.
Listen with your eyes, your ears, and be aware of your body language. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. He cannot talk forever. Stop and listen and show him he is important to you and that you support him.
Share his excitement over anything.
Laugh at his jokes
Look at him with admiration when he is around his peers to inspire their respect. (It is your job from the Lord to reverence him and to make him look good at all times.)
Always seek to make him look successful.
Spend the time and effort needed on your appearance because it shows you reverence your husband.
Dress to please your husband.
Dress modestly so he does not worry that you may be trying to attract other men.
Remember what your husband likes:
Cook his favorite meals.
Keep his favorite snacks handy.
Keep his favorite beverages handy.
Keep his remote handy and the batteries working.
Wear clothing you know he likes on you.
Wear your hair the way you know he likes.
Wear a perfume you know he likes.
Care for your clothes and his clothes. Eliminate unused clothes.
Create order in his environment (one step at a time is fine)
Organize the bathroom cabinets
Organize his socks and underwear and keep it that way.
Make a permanent and tidy place for his pocket stuff (wallet, keys, change, receipts, screws, batteries, business cards).
Keep track of his “stuff” however you can
Keep the home free of clutter
Train your children to be neat, clean and organized
Keep a meek and quiet spirit
Do not speak in anger
Stop a backbiting tongue by silence (Proverbs 26:20)
Ask your husband your spiritual questions.
Expect nothing from him (put all your expectation for fulfillment on the Lord, especially in moments where you feel empty or alone)
Do not have the “marriage is teamwork and you’re not pulling your share” attitude. YOU commit 100% to your husband, regardless of how you think he is performing (you will only answer to God in the end for the kind of wife you were to your husband).
Learn to prioritize (quick prayers often clear up moments or days of confusion).
Organize one drawer, shelf, or area a day until your home has a place for everything and everything in its place—then keep it there.
Train the children so that they make him proud.
Train the children to love him and respect him.
Never say a bad word about your husband to your children. Don’t even suggest in any way to them that he is not the “dad” he should be.
Do not try to solve any of his problems without his consent.
Overlook his faults.
Overlook his little mistakes.
Overlook his big mistakes.
Forgive any offense that hurts you as quickly as you can (urgent prayer will take care of this—pray until you feel your anger subside and your pleasure in your husband return. At first this may take a few days. After a while, you will cut it to a few hours. With continued practice, you will be able to forgive, with prayer and God’s help, within a few minutes to a few seconds)
Remember DAILY back to the beginning of your relationship and all the things that attracted you to him. Recall the smiles you had for him them and smile them all again.
Stop for one minute and thank the Lord for your husband.
Pray for God to bless your husband as the leader of your home and as the provider for your family.
Have joy.
Be lighthearted and create a lighthearted mood in your home.
Make him proud of his home, his wife, and his children.
Make sure that he would be proud to invite his boss to dinner.
Ask him for advice whenever you can, and always take it seriously—and tell him what good advice it is.
When he tells you about his work, tell him how good he is at his job, in his position, and praise his strengths at work (his leadership, his diligence, his honesty, his integrity).
Try to make all your words positive.
Never talk bad about his friends or coworkers. Do not affirm when he talks bad about someone. You can nod sympathetically, but do not verbally agree.
Do not be negative.
Keep your speech clean and pretty—becoming to a lovely wife with a sweet spirit.
Do not correct him. Especially in front of others. Let it go unless your life is on the line.
Do not criticize him about anything. Not even about a shirt, how his hair looks, how he spends his time, what he spent his money on, or…anything.
Pray for God’s strength and grace whenever—WHENEVER—you feel tired, angry, or that you just can’t do it. Even if it means praying 2,000 times a day. All you have to say is one word, “HELP!” He will.
Pray for God to reveal to you the opportunity to do something on this list whenever possible.

What a great resource for Christian Wives.


LrngHisway said...

And I thought I was the one really wanting or "having" a relationship with the Lord! I know in my heart these things I need to do but my disappointments have run away with any godly sense or desire to even do these things for my husband.
I am so confused!
How can I think I love God so much and want to serve Him but find that when it counts most I fall so obviously short. My heart longs for what seems impossible. Me having a loving, joyful, trusting, meek heart that knows how to show Christ.(not just talk about what it should be like!)I have sought His face, I have cried and begged at His feet until I thought I sensed His forgiveness and strength to be a daughter pleasing to Him only to fail when it really matters. I leave my prayer closet ready to serve My Lord no matter what, Yes , I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me attitude, just to have the gates of hell prevail against me and find myself defeated! I think the Lord must be so disappointed with me. The guilt of repeating this same thing over and over has me believing that I must not REALLY love God because Jesus said, "If you love me you will obey my commands." I am so guilt ridden I have almost become numb at going to Him because He already knows I will disappoint Him. Sometimes I feel like I am going to go crazy because I know and don't want to go back to the person I was before Christ but feel stuck that I can't become the person Christ wants me to be either. I have walked out of a church service and gone home knowing I can't sing another song about surrender or how amazing He is and not giving Him that from my life. How is it that you can KNOW that you know He IS the ANSWER, that it's not out in the world or in some other thing and be so messed up?

Clare said...

Hi Lynn, I decided to start reading your blog from the beginning! Anyway, just wanted to say what a fantastic post this is - am printing it off to put in my prayer diary. Have you come across Nancy Wilson (The Fruit of Her Hands and Praise her in the Gates)? I love her books, I think they say a similar thing.

Lynn said...

Clare, no I havent seen those books, but thank you for the heads up! i will look into them : )